Hypnotherapy for Confidence and Self-Esteem
Confidence is a state of mind.
So you might think that your low self-esteem is just naturally how you are.
Not so.
At some point in your life, you have learned to feel this way, even if it was so long ago that you can’t remember why or how.
Understanding the Roots
Your low self-esteem may be from something further back than you can remember.
You might have had critical parents, a partner who always put you down, teachers who didn’t believe in you, or may have been bullied at school.
Symptoms of Low Self-Esteem
(1). Being self-critical. You focus on your mistakes, shortcomings, or perceived flaws more than their your achievements. This self-critical mindset can stem from various factors such as past failures, negative feedback, or unrealistic expectations.
(2). Over thinking. You overcook it. Run things through your mind again and again. Eventually you talk yourself out of moving forward, convinced you’ve done the right thing. You’ve ground to a halt
(3). Perfectionism. Everything has to be just so. Planetary alignment. You feel that if everything you do isn’t perfect, it would reflect poorly on you, and people would judge you for it.
(4). Fear of confrontation. You’re not at standing up for yourself, stating a dissenting opinion, You worry about upsetting others or facing potential conflict. What we’re looking at here is helping you defend your rights - assertiveness. Setting your boundaries.
(5). Difficulty accepting compliments. You dismiss compliments and put things down to luck, or deflect it back onto the person giving the compliment. At your core you believe you’re not worthy.
(6). Constant need for reassurance. You don’t trust yourself. You need the opinions and approval of others at all times.
(7). Fear of failure. You’re afraid you’ll do the wrong thing. No you won’t. You’ll succeed or have learnings. And be richer for the experience. Show me someone who’s never made a mistake. And I’ll show you someone who’s never done anything.
(8). Avoiding new experiences. You stick to what you know. You avoid unfamiliar situations or opportunities. This avoidance often stems from a fear of the unknown, or a fear of making mistakes. In effect you’re standing on edge of a cliff, looking down at a sea of unknowns and choosing to stay safely on the ledge. Let’s get you diving in and swimming.
(9). Negative self talk. Not helpful. And you know this. You say things like, “I’m not good enough,” “I can’t do this,” or “Everyone else is better than me.” These phrases can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, further eroding your confidence. There’s an old Japanese samurai proverb that goes, “Do not speak badly of yourself, for the warrior that is inside you hears your words and is lessened by them”.
What Does Lack of Confidence Feel Like
You feel like nothing is ever good enough however hard you try.
Outwardly to the world, you can be a rip-roaring success, but inside you can feel a failure, ashamed of yourself, like an imposter even.
Check if any of the following apply to you:
- You constantly give in to others
- You don’t talk because you believe you won’t be heard
- You feel you have to constantly keep the peace
- Tread carefully around others in fear of upsetting them, regardless of your feelings
- You don’t say what you really think, only what you think others want to hear
- You feel like the weaker partner in relationships
- You feel like you don’t deserve success.
Day-to-Day Behaviour Changes
Over the years we become what we tell ourselves. Self-fulfilling prophecies. So why not learn to tell yourself new, different things?
Together with looking at your Cognitive Behaviour (how you think, feel and act) and with Hypnotherapy we’ll look at how you currently deal with patterns of thought and habits and if there are better ways. This in turn will aid you to have more helpful conversations with yourself.
Let’s look at some automatic thoughts that are currently hardwired in you and how we can change them.
“Everything goes badly for me.”
Why not say, “Something's gone badly for me, just as they do for everyone else, but some things go well”?
Or:
“If I’m not good at something I’d rather not do it at all.”
Let’s change that to, “Ok, it might not go as well as I wanted, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be any good at all. I can’t expect to get everything 100% right all the time. I’ll never be satisfied.”
In other words, let’s get you to be more Tigger and knock the Eyeore out of the park.
Low self-esteem and your day-to-day behaviour
Together we’ll also look at your current thoughts, action and feelings in your lifestyle.
This is sometimes known as TED – Tiredness, Exercise and Diet.
For example, with tiredness we need to look at sleep patterns (eight hours per night, regular times and your self-discipline), possibly keeping a diary.
Regarding exercise. This isn’t about becoming a gym bunny, an Arnie, or something from the front of a health magazine. It’s simply that the first step to any kind of exercise is your mental state. You want to exercise not to torture yourself, but to make yourself feel good. Do things that you enjoy. Find the fun in it.
We also need to look at what you eat and drink. The quality and the quantity. Low self-esteem can be linked to overeating, bad diets, snacking, drug taking and smoking. Together we need to look at this.
Confidence Hypnotherapy FAQs
(1). What exactly is hypnosis?
Put simply it’s just a deep state of relaxation where you can focus on telling yourself the right thing. You’re good enough already and can only get better.
(2). What’s the difference between hypnosis and hypnotherapy?
Hypnosis is a deep state of relaxation. The ‘therapy’ bit is simply using hypnosis treat and heal you from your current stress and anxieties around confidence and self-esteem.
(3). Why hypnotherapy?
Most experts agree that hypnotherapy is quick to the core of the problem as it deals directly with the subconscious mind. As a result it is usually faster to produce beneficial changes and results.
Also the Royal College of Psychiatrists recognise its benefits as do The Royal Society of Medicine.
It’s proven.
(4). What specifically is hypnotherapy for confidence and low self-esteem?
It’s a way of you and me working together to exploring the impact of your very core beliefs, the underlying assumptions you’ve made about the way you live your life, and how it makes you feel. Then with Hypnotherapy, we’ll look to change your thoughts for the better.
We’re going to practice being good to you. Stop the criticising. Practice, practice, practice until we get a new better you.
About me. James Thomas. Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapist
Using hypnosis and hypnotherapy we can change your thinking. You can be less bothered by your doubts and anything that holds you back. Stop it right here, right now. Let’s boost your confidence.
I cover Yorkshire and Lincolnshire with consultancy rooms in Leeds, York, Lincoln and Louth.
You can get in touch with me at jamesthomas@thegentlemind.co.uk or call 07787563099.
